Paladins in Disorder
by Lanceeselhombre
Summary: An Au where the paladins each have a disorder, or in Keith's case two.
1. Confessions

DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING

Hey guys, this is an idea me and a group chat made while we were discussing vld headcanons. Thanks to Umber on amino for being my first ever beta reader.

Enjoy!

Headcanons:

Keith and Shiro are adoptive siblings

All the paladins have at least one disorder

Pidge's nickname is Pigeon

Lance had multiple nicknames for Keith

Space dad Shiro

Peace maker Hunk

.o.O.o.

"Paladins, thank you for coming to this meeting." Allura said diplomatically as she stood in front of the five paladins of Voltron on the training deck. The five sat in a pentagon shape while wearing their usual clothes, each watching her respectfully while she spoke. "It has become apparent to Shiro and myself that there are pressing matters we must address."

Shiro nodded in agreement. "We all know that during the fight with Sendak my PTSD got a little out of control." He began, seeing the unanimous nod of agreement among his teammates. His eyes diverted from the others for a moment and he frowned slightly, the guilt from his episode sinking in. "Allura and I realize now that my PTSD is a serious problem that needs to be worked on."

Taking over again, Allura continued, "We believe it is wise if you would share amongst yourselves problems you possess that are similar in nature." She couldn't explain her thoughts further, being unfamiliar with human disorders and how they affected a person physically and mentally.

"That way, if something happens during a mission, like I have a panic attack, the others will know what is wrong and how to help." Shiro finished. It would keep them all safe to know each other's limits and weaknesses.

Some of the paladin's faces grew worried or apprehensive, leading Shiro to add, "You don't have to share anything you don't want to, but it would help the team to know." He didn't want to force anyone to give out information they didn't want to, he knew how nerve wrecking it was to come out to another person about a problem they had.

No one said anything for a few ticks. Allura excused herself after it became apparent to her that the paladins would be more comfortable talking between each other when she wasn't there. The team visibly relaxed when her strict presence disappeared, though no one spoke up.

Lance was the first to say something. "I know Pidge and Hunk already know this, but I have ADHD." He said almost nonchalantly. "Can't sit still to save my life." He added with a small laugh, exaggerating his statement with his hands.

Pidge rolled her eyes and snorted in agreement while Hunk simply nodded. "If you had kicked my chair one more time back at the Garrison I swear I would've kicked you in the balls." She groaned, though a fond smile spread across her lips.

Lance frowned at her. "Still as salty as ever I see." He teased, crossing his arms and giving her a smirk.

Shiro cut in before they could start a meme war, instead distracting them by asking Pidge, "Do you have anything you'd like to share?" He could tell by the disappointed look on Lance's face that he had successfully stopped the impending memes.

The green paladin shrugged. "I have pretty hardcore OCD." She admitted. "I can't focus unless I know that all my things are organized correctly." She couldn't count how many times she had gone a night without sleeping because she was convinced that something in her room wasn't at a 90 degree angle.

Hunk was the next one to speak up. "I have mild chronic depression. Sometimes I get really sad and I can't feel motivated enough to do anything." He explained.

Shiro nodded thoughtfully, listening closely to them as they spoke. "Thank you guys for sharing that." He said sincerely, offering a smile. He then turned to Keith, who had been noticeably quiet the entire time.

Keith was sitting slouched over with his cheek resting a closed fist with his elbow balancing on one of his knees. He was very interested in the floor and was tapping it consistently while he stared at it. Shiro's gaze softened at the sight, recognizing immediately what the tapping meant. He didn't say anything though and instead cleared his throat, getting Keith's attention.

The teen jumped and sat up straight, fingers fidgeting with the hem of his boots anxiously. "I have generalized anxiety disorder." Keith said easily enough, his eyes casting downwards again as he spoke.

"Yeah I kinda figured." Pidge replied. She'd picked up on his fidgeting multiple times in the past month and knew they were different than when Lance fidgeted. Lance and Hunk nodded as well. It appeared that the knowledge of his anxiety disorder was common knowledge among the team.

Shiro nodded as well. "And?" He prompted, knowing that GAD wasn't the only thing he had.

Keith shrunk down in his seat, his expression screaming 'fuck I knew he was gonna do this.' Sometimes he hated the fact that him and Shiro were adoptive siblings.

Lance peeked up. "And?" He questioned curiously. "There's an and?" He repeated, sitting forward expectantly.

Hunk patted Lance's shoulder. "Buddy, calm down. You don't have to get that excited over it." His words seemed to be in vain, as the blue paladin continued to stare incredulously at Keith.

The red paladin frowned deeper and glared at Lance, completely ignoring Hunk's statement. "And what's that supposed to mean?" He challenged, his anxiety flaring in his chest at the very thought of revealing his second disorder.

Lance frowned in return. "I'm just curious mullet. No need to be salty like the pigeon sitting over there." He commented, pointing over to Pidge, who rolled her eyes and rubbed her temples at the mention of his 'affectionate nickname' for her.

"What the fuck does that even mean?" Keith growled, rubbing his temples in the same fashion as Pidge. "And who said I even had to tell you?" He demanded, beginning to break into a cold sweat.

"Uh, we all just shared our own problems. So you should too." Lance pointed out with an exaggerated hand motion, his tone implying that it was obvious.

Keith grit his teeth. "I already shared something!" He cried, getting severely annoyed.

"We all already knew that though! That's not fair!"

"Guys…"

"The hell it isn't!"

"Stop being such a quiznak and just say it!" Lance yelled, finally breaking Keith's resolve to not say what his second disorder was.

"Fine! I have an overactive bladder!" He yelled, unable to stop himself. He was too anxious to keep arguing with Lance the way they were and blurted out his secret to get the blue paladin to stop yelling at him.

Lance's face melted from annoyance and anger into confusion. "Wait what? What is that?" He'd known Pidge and Hunk long enough to understand their disorders and Shiro had explained PTSD and anxiety to the group, so he knew what they were, but he had no idea what an overactive bladder was.

Keith groaned, not wanting to explain at all. He covered his face with his hands and leaned forward again, trying to make himself smaller and disappear. Why did he say anything?

Shiro decided to explain in his place. "It's when the nerves in the bladder malfunction, which cause things like really intense urges to use the bathroom even after you've just gone and sometimes even accidents." He glanced at Keith to offer an appeasing and slightly regretful look.

Lance processed this. "So basically star boy pisses himself a lot?" He rephrased, an amused smirk coming over his face.

Keith punched him in the shoulder hard. "Shut up!" He yelled, offended that his teammate immediately drew that conclusion. "That hasn't happened in a couple of months!" He defended, his tone slightly proud.

Lance choked on a laugh. "Dude I haven't pissed myself since kindergarten." He taunted.

Shiro frowned. "Lance, you shouldn't be making fun of him. Would you want him to it things were the other way around?" He asked as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Lance stopped laughing almost immediately and groaned. "Way to be a dad, Shiro."

Shiro smirked. "Why thank you, I try."

Now with a more serious tone, he said, "Thank you guys for sharing with the team, I know it can be hard. Don't feel like you're on your own, you can talk to someone else if you need help."

Let the moments begin.

.o.O.o.

Sorry if this was short, I promise the coming chapters will be longer. Another thanks to my beta reader, they're awesome for helping me out with this.

Until the next chapter!


	2. Lance

DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING

The chapter is focused on Lance (obviously.) Enjoy!

.o.O.o.

Lance put his visualization helmet on his head and tightened it so it wouldn't fall off with a sigh. This was his least favorite bonding exercise: forming Voltron with their thoughts. When they first did it, it was fairly easy; but now that he had been off of his ADHD meds for over a month he found it extremely difficult to focus long enough to do his part.

Shiro said they still had to do the exercise. He said it would give Lance some practice so he could learn to focus better without his meds. It was easy for him to say, he didn't live with the teen's erratic mind.

Lance sighed again and shifted where he sat, unable to sit still. He was already getting restless. His eyes were shut like the rest of the team's as he tried to visualize his lion. She immediately formed in front of him, sitting tall and proud.

The blue paladin began to smile, feeling more calm at the mental image of his lion. He could feel the others' lions forming in front of them as well. He began to visualize Blue combining with the others to form Voltron, seeing her image flicker for a second as a random and unimportant thought crossed his mind.

'Man I'm hungry,' He thought for a second, Blue's image dissapating for a solid second before he regained his focus. 'I can eat after this.' He assured himself, hoping that would be the only interrupting thought he would have.

Lance shifted again in his seat and fidgeted with his shirt. He was bored already. A frown began to come over his face, both from his annoyance at himself and his attempts to stay focused. 'Come on focus for like ten more seconds.' He urged his mind, trying to form his lion again.

She materialized before him, her image glitched and shaky, before floating towards the middle again. The blue lion sat in front of the black lion amongst the others, who were calmly waiting for her. Lance could feel the others attempting to form Voltron, but his lion was too unstable.

The blue paladin's brow furrowed and tried to solidify her image. A picture of his mother flickered and replaced Blue, and then an image of his Abuela cooking dinner. He shook his head and thought hard about his lion, about the exact shade of blue she was, about the way her metal gleamed in the sun, about the smell of her cockpit.

The lyrics to one of Lance's favorite Spanish songs came to mind, a strong male voice that wasn't his own singing in his mind. 'Focus.' He growled internally, thinking of the feeling of being formed as Voltron. The song kept playing.

A memory of Hunk and Lance play fighting at the garrison popped into his head.

An image of Voltron fighting a galra ship.

His Abuela singing songs at Christmas.

Him and his older sister rapping to songs in the car.

He opened his eyes and groaned annoyedly out loud, stopping the flurry of images in the only way he knew how. He rubbed his temples and tried not to fidget, feeling the other lions disappear as the team opened their eyes as well.

"Shit, I'm sorry I'm trying to focus I really am." Lance ranted, frustration evident in his voice. "I'm trying, but this is the hardest thing in the world without my meds."

Lance heard Shiro take a breath in to speak, but no words came. Instead he heard Pidge's voice, calm and understanding cut through his thoughts. "Just breathe and try not to think for a moment." She coached gently.

With a frustrated huff the teen closed his eyes and took a deep breath in, trying to empty his mind. His chaotic thoughts rushed by in front of him until there was nothing, though a quick flicker of a random image would come into frame for a fraction of a second every once in awhile.

He felt Pidge nod. "Now think of Blue. Don't think hard, just let her be there." She continued.

Lance followed her directions, imagining Blue again. She appeared in front of him in the same pose as before, her figure still glitching out every few seconds. Lance could feel his thoughts beginning to rush back as he shifted again, a frown darkening his features again.

"Relax." He heard Pidge say in a soothing voice, and he took in another deep breath. He slumped forward and let his head hang a little, hoping his mind would chill the fuck out if his body did. And it worked to some extent. Blue's image did not disappear, and the glitching became minor.

He felt the other lions form again and move towards the center of the circle. He felt Blue do the same, glitching out for a second. The blue paladin took in another calming breath as the lions came together to form Voltron, a relaxed sigh escaping his mouth.

When they were connected like this he could feel the calm and steady thoughts of the others soothing his overactive mind. He could feel his thoughts slow to match their speed, and he experienced a calm he hadn't felt since they left earth and he was still on his meds. He felt like he could actually think critically and make smart decisions again.

All too soon, Shiro's voice floated through their connection. "Alright team, that's enough." They simultaneously opened their eyes and looked around the circle, making eye contact with their teammates. "Good job guys." Shiro praised as he took of his helmet, a genuine smile spreading over his lips.

Lance smiled and took of his helmet as well, looking over to Pidge. She looked back at him with a warm gaze and a soft smile. "Thanks Pidge."

"No problem."

.o.O.o.

Yay, all done. I hope this was long enough.


	3. Shiro

DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING

This chapter is based on Shiro. Enjoy!

.o.O.o.

Shiro hated missions. It was fine when they fought galra ships with Voltron and saved planets that were taken over by the empire. He didn't mind those kinds of missions; he hated the missions where they had to board a galra ship.

He couldn't stand to be back inside the mechanized walls that he spent a year being prisoner to. It felt like he was suffocating, like the walls were closing in on him. Memories from his time of being abused and experimented on by Zarkon's henchmen caused the hair on the back of his neck and stand on end and caused him to break into a cold sweat.

For better or for worse, as the head of Voltron he was tasked with the safety of the other four paladins. He struggled to focus through the haze of fear that wanted to take over during their missions, knowing that there were other people he had to protect. He had to focus.

"Report." He said into his communicator, leaning around a corner to see if there were any drones patrolling the next hallway. There were two, marching side by side, which the black paladin was able to take out quickly with a jab to the neck from his galra tech arm.

He heard his communicator crackle for a second before Pidge's voice filled his ear. "I'm almost at the command center, Hunk is covering my back." She reported for herself and her teammate.

"Me and Keith are still near the lions. So far no one's come over here." Shiro nodded to himself. Okay, they're all safe. He thought to himself, calming the fear in his mind trying to convince him that they were hurt.

He rushed down another hallway, able to make out the doorway to the command center at the far end of the next corridor. "Okay Pidge, the coast is clear. There should be no drones on the escape route." They originally boarded the ship to free any prisoners on board, only to find that this particular ship carried none. So their mission wouldn't be fruitless, the team was now working on decommissioning the ship.

"Okay, setting the bomb." Pidge relayed before the comm went quiet. Shiro stood in a crouched position, ready to spring into action should a lone drone or soldier come his way. There were several seconds of complete, suffocating silence where the black paladin waited tensely for his cue.

Then a sudden, frantic alarm blared throughout the ship; an expected sound once the bomb was attached. "Let's get out of here!" Shiro called over his communicator, running into the hallway that was connected to the command center before bolting for the lions, making sure any oncoming soldiers or drones would encounter him before his teammates.

Then the pounding of marching soldiers began to echo throughout the corridors. Once again, he expected this. But his mind reverted back to his imprisonment on Zarkon's ship, and his body shut down. He was faintly aware of Hunk and Pidge running up behind him and calling his name, but their voices seemed so far away.

The pounding of the soldier's steps echoed louder and louder in his ears, causing the walls to shake around him. He fell to his knees and pushed a hand into the wall, attempting to keep it from closing in on him. His eyes widened in fear and his breath quickened. He couldn't breathe.

Suddenly he was picked up and thrown over someone's shoulder. Out of shock and utter terror he kicked out and tried to injure his captor, deafly yelling out for them to put him down. His body shook, running too cool from the cold sweat pouring down his back.

Shiro squeezed his eyes shut, trying to breathe. In, out. In, out. His chest felt like it was being constructed by a snake that was winding itself around his torso, forcing the air out of his lungs. He tried to suck in deep lungfuls of air but his chest wouldn't expand to allow it in.

The man wasn't aware he was crying until he felt the hot tears running down his cheeks. He weakly pounded his fist against the person's back, hoping they would put him down.

His wish was granted, to his extreme surprise. He was left to himself for less than a second before there were arms around him, cradling him in a comforting embrace. Words floated in his ear and a hand ran its fingers through his hair, making him realize his helmet had been taken off.

The words were instructing him to breathe. There was a heartbeat against his forehead, calm, steady, and strong compared to his own fast, panicked rhythm. He worked on slowing his breathing and taking in deeper breaths, focusing on the heartbeat.

"The mission is over Shiro. We did it. No one's hurt." The black paladin heard Keith sooth in his ear, finally audible over his terrified sobs. He reached forward to hug the teen, feeling the warmth of his body ground him.

Finally, an eternity later Shiro opened his eyes. He first saw Keith kneeling in front of him with a neutral expression. He looked past him to the rest of the team, who were standing a few feet away, obviously worried.

The man took one last deep, calming breath before he pulled away from the teen holding him. "Thank you Keith." He said sincerely, realizing that he should have expected Keith to be the one calming him down; as a fellow teammate with an anxiety disorder he was the most capable of dealing with a panic attack.

Keith smiled. "No problem."


	4. Pidge

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

IM SORRY I HAVENT UPDATED IVE BEEN WORKING ON OTHER THINGS. THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO REQUESTED AN UPDATE, I WOULDNT HAVE DONE IT FOR AWHILE IF YOU HADNT ASKED.

.o.O.o.

Pidge stood in front of the small desk in her room, one hand loosely gripping her chin in thought. She stared intensely at her laptop, which was sitting on her desk near the right edge, aligned with the edge of the desk perfectly. But was it really perfect? It looked like ninety degrees, but she couldn't be sure without some kind of measuring tool. But protractors didn't exist in space.

She continued to stare intensely at the piece of tech for several minutes, moving her head around to judge the angle from multiple viewpoints. It had to be slightly off. She carefully turned the laptop clockwise, trying to make it line up with the desk edge. When she let go it looked more off than before, so she tilted it back. But it still looked off.

She groaned tiredly and rubbed at her eyes. She was exhausted. A quick glance at her alarm clock told her it was two am- she should have been asleep hours ago. But she couldn't sleep without knowing that all of her things were exactly how she wanted them. The rest of her belongings were already put away at perfect angles and symmetry, but her laptop just didn't look right.

And she wouldn't sleep until she knew it was right. She couldn't. That was how OCD worked. She couldn't be at peace until everything was perfect.

Pidge spent the next ten minutes slowly tilting her laptop, trying to make it match the angle of the desk's edge in vain. It always looked or felt slightly off without some way to make sure it was at a perfect ninety degree angle. She would say it was starting to irritate her, but she was far past irritation and now onto tired exasperation. She was too tired to be actively fuming at her inability to fulfill her impulse, no matter how much it was irritating her.

A gentle knock at her door broke her concentration on her laptop. She wanted to see who was there so late at night, but she couldn't leave her laptop on her desk when it wasn't how she wanted. To fix the problem she picked up the piece of technology and cradled it to her chest as she walked over to her door. She pressed her hand to the hand print to open the door and looked up at the man standing in front of her.

"Hey Shiro." Pidge greeted, a little surprised her leader was standing in her doorway. He usually went to bed extremely early, since he always woke up early to train by himself (everyone knew even though he trained alone in his room.) Why was he still awake?

Shiro smiled back in greeting. "Hey Pidge. What are you doing? Staying up late working on codes?" He guessed. That was what kept the green paladin up on most nights. She couldn't leave a project unfinished before she went to sleep. But that wasn't the case at the moment.

The teen shook her head. "No, I finished the code I was working on three hours ago." She said with a sigh. "I'm trying to put my laptop away but…" She trailed off, frustratedly biting her lip because of how stupid it would sound to complain that her laptop didn't look right on her desk. Any normal person would just throw it down and flop down on their bed. But she couldn't.

"It doesn't feel right?" Shiro supplemented, finishing her sentence for her. He smiled a little wider when Pidge nodded in agreement. "Where did you want to put it?" He asked.

Pidge backed up and turned around to walk towards her desk, motioning for Shiro to come in and follow her with a hand. She put her laptop back on her desk and did her best to line it up in one shot. "I'm trying to put it here, but I can't tell if the angle of the laptop and desk match." She explained with another yawn. She fidgeted with the computer as she spoke, trying to make it look better.

Shiro looked over her shoulder and hummed in thought. "Have you tried using something rectangular to measure?" He offered as he stood up straight and looked around the room for something fitting the description.

The green paladin flushed a little. "No I haven't." She admitted. She'd been too focused at first to think of that alternative and too tired now to think effectively. Her abandoned irritation started to resurface at the thought that she could have been sleeping hours ago if she thought to use something rectangular to measure a ninety degree angle.

The black paladin looked around for another second before he walked over to Pidge's stack of papers that sat next to her bed, neatly piled so that it they looked like one solid block. He carefully removed the top piece of paper to not disturb the rest and brought it back to Pidge. "What if you used this?" He offered as he put it down on the desk.

Pidge took the paper and used it to make sure the edges of the laptop and desk were the same distance apart on all sides. She finished that fairly easily, then moved on to checking the angle of the laptop. After a few minutes she realized that it really was at ninety degrees. It was just her mind tricking her into thinking it was off.

Once she was absolutely sure the computer was sitting perfectly she stood up straight and sighed with relief. She felt a lot better knowing it was how she wanted. Once she put the paper back and fixed the stack of papers on the floor she would be completely at peace. "Thank you Shiro." She said gratefully as she turned to the older paladin and gave him a hug.

Shiro hugged her back and replied, "You're welcome. You're going to sleep now right?" He asked as they pulled apart.

Pidge nodded. "Yeah, I'm tired." To prove her point, she yawned at the end of her sentence.

"I can tell." Shiro chuckled. "Get some rest. Remember next time to use a paper or something as a measuring tool."

"I will. Thank you."

"No problem."


End file.
